Split Grip King

Joined: 31 Jan 2008 Posts: 21

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Joined: 30 Apr 2009 Posts: 5

Everybody needs a little time away … Even lovers need a holiday, far away from each other.—Lyrics from “Hard to Say I’m Sorry,” by Chicago

Going separate ways as a couple is often read as a prelude to separation (which has its own pressures), but it doesn’t have to be. In fact, many experts agree that taking separate vacations as a couple, within certain guidelines, can actually help to enhance the relationship and allow each partner to keep it in perspective.

There are rules for making separate vacations work, however. Ruth Peters, who has written extensively on family dynamics and is a contributor to the Today show on NBC, believes that separate vacations should be an addition to our lives, not an escape. Remember, too, that one size does not fit all. Many couples consider separate vacations vital to their relationship’s success, whereas others wouldn’t dream of enjoying themselves apart. You and your partner might have no interest in the idea, but if taking separate vacations sounds like it might work for you, consider these tips to maximize pleasure and minimize guilt.
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Keep Communication Lines Open

Agree about the ground rules for communication before you leave on your trip. Schedule a set time to check in and assure your partner that you’re okay, tell him that you miss him, and fill him in on what you’re doing while you’re away. You don’t have to give him an itemized list—this is about your individuality, after all—but you should provide just enough details to make him feel like he’s in the loop and on your mind.

If this is the first time you’re proposing to fly solo, make sure your partner understands your reasons for doing so. If he or she expresses fears of infidelity or dissatisfaction with the relationship on your part, then you might consider spending your vacation money on couples counseling instead; partnerships are built on trust and that trust should be strong enough to weather periods when you’re not in each other’s physical space.

“A successful monogamous relationship shouldn’t mean giving up who you are or your independent activities,” says Dr. Peters. “A successful marriage or monogamous relationship does entail the willingness to make some sacrifices in order to accommodate the other person.”

Tell your partner that you just need some time for yourself and encourage him to do the same. Listen to his concerns and help him understand that your decision has nothing to do with the relationship. You’re not separating yourself from him; you’re just trying to schedule some quality time with an old friend—yourself.

$peaking of $pending ...
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In the current economic climate, most families have trouble eking out just one vacation a year, let alone one per partner. Be realistic about how you can allocate resources for your time away. Will your partner be able to do the same? Can you take money from somewhere else in your budget to help pay for your trip? Can you find some alone time in a way that is less expensive? For example, could you spend one day at a spa rather than a weeklong cruise? Also consider setting up separate savings accounts for your separate vacations. That way, you and your partner each have the responsibility of paying for your own trips and you can avoid some of the resentment that inevitably arises when one of you is sipping Mai Tais on the beach in Malibu while the other is working.

Joined: 02 Jul 2009 Posts: 5

Frank's voice dropped a bit. "When the weather was bad he would drive me to school. He had this old truck that he used in his fishing business. That truck was older than he was. It would wheeze and rattle down the road. You could hear it coming for blocks. As he would drive toward the school,I would shrink down into the seat hoping to disappear. Half the time, he would slam to a stop and the old truck would belch a cloud of smoke. He would pull right up in front, and it seemed like everybody would be standing around and watching.archlord gold, Then he would lean over and give me a big kiss on the cheek and tell me to be a good boy. It was so embarrassing for me. Here, I was 12 years old, and my Dad would lean over and kiss me goodbye!" He paused and then went on, "I remember the day I decided I was too old for a goodbye kiss. When we got to the school and came to a stop, he had his usual big smile. He started to lean toward me, but I put my hand up and said, 'No, Dad.'

It was the first time I had ever talked to him that way, and he had this surprised look on his face.

I said, 'Dad, I'm too old for a goodbye kiss. I'm too old for any kind of kiss.' .
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My Dad looked at me for the longest time, and his eyes started to tear up. I had never seen him cry. He turned and looked out the windshield. 'You're right,' he said. 'You are a big boy....a man. I won't kiss you anymore.'" Frank got a funny look on his face, and the tears began to well up in his eyes, as he spoke. "It wasn't long after that when my Dad went to sea and never came back. It was a day when most of the fleet stayed in, but not Dad. He had a big family to feed. They found his boat adrift with its nets half in and half out. He must have gotten into a gale and was trying to save the nets and the floats."
I looked at Frank and saw that tears were running down his cheeks. Frank spoke again. "Guys, you don't know what I would give to have my Dad give me just one more kiss on the cheek....to feel his rough old face....to smell the ocean on him....to feel his arm around my neck.archlord money, I wish I had been a man then. If I had been a man, I would never have told my Dad I was too old for a goodbye kiss."
Thus we see the contract in a legal civic marriage in China is not between the woman and the man. The contract is between the womanand the family of her husband. She is not married to him, but into his family. In the visiting card of a Chinese lady in China, she does not write, for instance, Mrs. Ku Hung-ming, but literally "Miss Feng, gone to the home of the family (originally from) Tsin An adjusts her dress." The contract of marriage in China being between the woman and the family of her husband, the husband and wife can neither of them repudiate the contract without the consent of the husband's family. This I want to point out here, is the fundamental difference between a marriage in China and a marriage in Europe and America. .
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The marriage in Europe and America, is what we Chinese would call a sweet-heart marriage, a marriage, bound solely by love between the individual man and the individual woman. But in China the marriage is, as I have said, a civic marriage, a contract not between the woman and the man, but between the woman and the family of her husband, in which she has obligations not only to him, aoc power leveling,
but also to his family, and through the family, to society, to the social or civic order; in fact, to the State. Finally let me point out here that it is this civic conception of marriage which gives solidarity and stability to the family, to the social or civic order, to the State in China.

A Goodbye Kiss

Joined: 31 Oct 2009 Posts: 5

The Selfish Giant

Every afternoon, as the children were coming back from school, they used to go and play in the giant's garden.

It was a beautiful large garden. Beautiful flowers grew in the grass. There were twelve fruit trees. In the spring the fruit trees were covered with red and white flowers, and later in the year they bore rich fruit. The birds sang in the trees so sweetly that sometimes the children stopped their games and listened to them. "How happy we are here!" they cried to each other.
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One day the giant came back. He had been away for seven years. When he arrived, he saw the children playing in his garden. "What are you doing here?" he cried in a very loud voice. The children ran away.

"My own garden is my own garden," said the giant. "I will allow no one to play in it but myself. "So he built a high wall round it and put up a notice: Keep out. He was a very selfish giant.
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So the children had nowhere to play. They tried to play on the road, but the road was dusty and full of hard stone, and they did not like it. They wandered round the high walls when their lessons were finished and talked about the beautiful garden inside. "How happy we were there!" they said to each other.

The spring came, and there were flowers and little birds all over the country. But in the garden of the Selfish Giant it was till winter the birds did not like to sing in it because there were no children, and the trees forgot to bear flowers. Snow covered up the grass, and ice covered all the trees with silver. The north wind came, and driving rain.
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"I can't understand why the spring is so late in coming," said the Selfish Giant as he sat at the window of his house and looked out at his cold white garden. "I hope that there will be a change in the weather."

But the spring never came, nor the summer. When there was golden fruit in every other garden, there was no fruit in the the giant's garden. It was always winter there with the north wind, and snow, and ice, and driving rain.

The giant was lying in bed one morning when he heard some beautiful music. It was a little bird singing outside his window. It was so long since he had heard the song of a bird that it seemed to him the most beautiful music in the world. Then the north wind and the rain stopped.
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"I believe that spring has come at last!" said the giant. He jumped out of bed and looked out.

What did he see?

He saw a most wonderful sight. The children had come in though a hole in the wall and were sitting in the branches of the trees. There was a little child in every tree that he could see. The trees were so glad to have the children back that they had covered themselves with flowers: the birds were flying about and singing with joy, and flowers were looking up through the green grass.

A little boy was standing in the farthest corner of the garden. He was so small that he could not reach up to the branches of the tree, but was wandering round it and weeping. That tree was still covered with ice and snow.replica watches,

"How selfish I have been!" said the giant. "Now I know why the spring would not come here. I'll put the little boy on the top of the tree. Then I'll pull down the wall and my garden shall be a children's playground for ever." He was really sorry for what he had done.

So he went down: he opened the door very quietly, and went out into the garden. But, when the children saw him, they were afraid and ran away. Only the little boy did not run: his eyes were so full of tears that he did not see the giant coming. The giant came quietly behind him. He took the little boy gently in his hand and put him up into the tree. Then the tree was suddenly covered with flowers, and the birds came and sang in it, and the little boy put his arms round the giant's neck and kissed him.

"You must tell him to come tomorrow, he must come tomorrow." "We don't know where he lives. We had never seen him before." The giant felt very sad.
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Every afternoon when school ended, the children came and played with the giant. But the little boy whom the giant loved was never seen again. The giant was very kind to all the children, but he did want to see his first little friend. "How much I would like to see him!" he said.

The Selfish Giant